these are some thing i would tell my younger self when nothing makes sense. there is the saying that life is short but at the same time life is long. when you’re young: 19, 20, 21 you can start to take time to thoughtfully build what brings you happiness. during these formative years, we feel a sense of urgency to achieve success in school, careers and our personal lives and it’s totally normal to feel that pressure. it’s a good kind of pressure in a way but in general things and life take time to come together.

have fun, take chances and make mistakes  –  at a young age, you can take chances and it’s easier to recover. when you get older, you start to have more responsibilities. put yourself out there and just have a good time. 

comparison can be misleading – there’s no age cut off or deadline. there’s really no “should be.” don’t compare or feel like you need to replicate anything but instead use the information you see as a toolbox for finding varying things that may work for you. i don’t believe in comparing yourself to anybody. if you’re worried about what other people are doing, you’re in your own way and you won’t be getting anything done yourself.

don’t be ashamed to make yourself a priority – be selfish, selfishness is not bad and no it does not make you narcissistic just as long as you’re not hurting anyone. we are intrinsically motivated by our own needs.

understand your own worth – stay true to your individuality and take time to really learn yourself. when you know your value, you have this superpower where you know exactly what you deserve and don’t deserve. 

support system – this is such a gift. have so much appreciation for your family and friends who are always there for you no matter what. the people that are your support system majorly effects how confidently you go through life. 

don’t worry too much – don’t be too scared that things won’t work out. some things won’t work out. try and try again and if it really doesn’t work, you can say, i tried and got my answer. how boring would life be if everything went your way?

choice – many people convince themselves that they don’t have a choice when it comes to many things in life and that they “have to.” you don’t have to do anything. 

it’s actually beneficial to fail and have hardships – it’s a massive disservice if everything is easy. it’s important to have the tools of personal accountability and resilience. you will absolutely crumble the moment there is adversity if you haven’t had any tough times. remember, if you have a good support system and a good relationship with yourself, you’ll make it through anything. no one ever takes back the experiences that life taught them. 

be 100% honest with yourself –  why would you be a traitor to yourself?

don’t compromise yourself – don’t go along with things just to make people happy. it’s not that you won’t care what others think, you very much will. however, be unwilling to change your opinions to make other people feel comfortable at the cost of making yourself uncomfortable. that is too high of a price to pay. 

some things in life are tough – at some point or another life will throw you a storm and it’s going to require some grit to get through. it’s irresponsible to downplay that life will always be easy.  

the less input from the outside the better– this way you can find your own way. too many opinions can drown you out.