in life there will be shifts, as life is not exactly linear. there will be huge achievements and milestones that you share and celebrate with friends and family. and, there will be some chapters where you go through deep loss that comes in the form of a breakup, sickness or death of someone close. i have experienced loss and i want to share my feelings on it. i hope you find some solace in this post if you’re going through something challenging. 

1. have your people/community –in this one life that you have to live, make sure you are surrounded by love. we cannot go through hard things alone. you need people behind you who support, love and guide you, so you can get back up.  

2. healing takes time – there will be days you feel okay and there will be days where you’re crying a lot. it will sometimes feel like it won’t ever get better. you don’t have to put your sadness in a box. 

3. be vulnerable and truthful – allow your feelings to come to the surface. if you’re not doing great, say that. if you need help, ask for help. use your voice as a tool of empowerment. 

4. it’s normal to feel alone – it’s a constant state of feeling like no one understands what you’re going through and a part of that is true because no one is you. it’s important to know that you are surrounded by love and meaning. use your toolbox on these days you feel alone. go to God, prayer, music, and your village. 

5. guilt, the “what ifs” – sometimes, it’s hard to say to yourself that you really did all you could do. 

6. a part of you will be different – you won’t take things for granted and you’ll realize what really matters. you will have an appreciation of life and the value of moments. you will have more empathy for others as you will be able to see yourself in them. in the case of death, there will always be that hole but love still exists after death.